Top 10 Helpdesk Conversations

If you have ever worked at a Helpdesk taking phone calls from users, you know that each user operates on varying levels of technical proficiency. We live in an interesting time, a time where some users grew up with computers and interacted with them on a daily basis and others didn’t see a personal computer until they were 50! As Helpdesk Techs it is our job to resolve a users issue or answer any questions that they may have at any given moment through-out the day.  But once in awhile you will get a phone call, or e-mail that begs the question:
Are you sure that you work with computers all day?! “.

**** Names have been changed to protect the innocent.


Number 1 – Regarding IE

  • Helpdesk: To access our website you want to go to Internet explorer and type in this address:
  • User: Where can I find Internet explorer?
  • Helpdesk: There should be an icon for it on your desktop.
  • User: Where can I find my desktop?

(The big blue E icon – should be right next to the… no still not seeing it eh? – what is your computer name? I’ll remote in to show you. )


Number 2 – Cut – Copy – Paste

  • Helpdesk: … So you just want to copy and paste the contents into this folder and you should be all set.
  • User: How do I do that?
  • Helpdesk: uhm.. How do you copy something? R-click and select Copy
  • User: oh ok… now how do I paste it?

( Wait… how long have you been here? )


Number 3 – What do you mean my phone has a battery?

  • User: I just got My new Phone and it just died. It wont’ turn back on!
  • Helpdesk: Did it get dropped? When was the last time you plugged it in to charge the battery?
  • User: **momentary silence** – Never, How come nobody told me this thing had a battery! I’m in a very important meeting and I need my phone…

(The thing is…this person used to own a blackberry before getting his new phone.)


Number 4 – Where does this thing go?

  • User: Is there a place to put discs in my laptop?
  • Helpdesk: Hmm.. There is a cd-rom tray on the right hand side of your laptop which you can use to access discs.

(Just wait til they learn about flash drives)


Number 5 – Planning for the Unexpected

  • User: Why couldn’t I get into our system last night?
  • Helpdesk: Sorry about that, we had an unexpected outage last night when one of our servers crashed – We apologize for the inconvenience.
  • User: Well next time you are going to bring the system down – you should really tell people! *click*

(Our bad – We’ll try to let you know in advance from now on if one of our servers is going to crash )


Number 6 – Flash drive woes

  • User: I need a flash drive.  I recall receiving a complimentary flash drive in the past, which my wife immediately purloined and now uses regularly.  Might there be any extras lying around collecting dust?  If not, just let me know, and I will spend a portion of my hard-earned and relatively meager salary to purchase one.
  • CC-d Users Response: Do we have flash drives? I don’t even know what this is…

( Aren’t they less than 10 bucks? )


Number 7 – V-Card

  • User: How do I get a “v card”?

(From Urban Dictionary – V Card: “V” stands for virgin, holding the V card means you’re still a virgin)


Number 8 – More Powa’

  • User: Hi – I’m sitting at someone Else’s desk today and the monitor isn’t turning on….
  • Helpdesk: Ok, Is there a power light on the monitor itself?
  • User: Well the screen is all black..
  • Helpdesk: Right…. Ok – So is there a power light on the PC?
  • User: what?
  • Helpdesk: Is there a power light on the Computer Tower?
  • User: I don’t’ know what you mean…
  • Helpdesk: ummm – There should be a green light indicating that the PC is turned on.
  • User: Oh! – well, I don’t think so….
  • Helpdesk: I’ll just come up to take a look at it.
  • User: Ok – see you soon. *CLICK*
  • –user calls back 30 seconds later before I leave —
  • User: Never-mind, you don’t have to come over – I found my hard drive. Thanks!

( I bet your VCR is still blinking 12:00 isn’t it? )


Number 9 – BMW Support doesn’t come standard

  • User: After you guys had my phone, the bluetooth link to my car broke – Can somebody come down and meet me at my car to fix this?
  • Helpdesk: …Only if I can test drive it.

(C’mon just for a few minutes)


Number 10 – Clickity-Clack

  • User: My new keyboard is very clickity-clackity and is reallllly large. Any chance you guys can order me the exact one I had before?
  • Helpdesk: Just to clarify…. You want a new keyboard because yours is too “clickity-clackity”…

(Is your mouse too “slidee” as well?)


I would love to hear some of your Helpdesk Conversations! Please share in the comments below.